It's Hoff Friday

The Man really is a GOD !!! WHo else could get away with an album like this ?? And what is going on with that Crazeeeeee Denim Jacket ?

Cornwall, The Final Frontier

Now don't get me wrong, I love cornwall, but after diving there this weekend I have to say it does annoy me a bit as well... They don't have roads in Cornwall they have tracks ! They have the traffic of London and the roads of pre Christ Jerusalam ! And why does the A303 on the way down keep changing from a Dual to a Single carriage way causing multiple bottle necks making it impossible to get back to london in less the 6 hours !

The roads aside, you have the problem that if you need anything then you have to drive miles to the nearest shop... Want a wetsuit, ohhhh you'll need to drive to Helsten, want some petrol, ohhh you'll need to pop to Newquay, need something to f*cking eat, ohhhh you'll have to go and see old man blake in PorthHallow, he may have a small piece of dried bread left.... We went to a pub at 8.59am which claimed to serve breakfast and they stop at 9am !!! 9am !!! What is wrong with these people ? When do they get up ? 3am ??

They did have the rather humorous dish "Pork in Cider" that made up for it though.... We were told they could make us some toast but if we wanted anything else we might be able to get Apple Juice and some cornflakes if we drove 30 miles to you've guessed it.... Helston.... What is this wondeful mecca called Helsten... I'll tell you what it is... It is a tiny town with more then 1 shop.. And it appears in deepest darkest cornwall that is quite a find !

Also on Sunday everything is shut ! You want anything on a Sunday in Cornwall you have to drive to Devon !

Popped in a pub in Porthhallow and asked of there were any camp sites nearby.... "Ohhhh you won't find nout round here my lover, you need to go to Helston"... Now I thought Campsites were one thing Cornwall excelled in but oh no !

My advice if you're going to cornwall in the near future.... get the train, take everything you could possibly need with you and make sure you stay in Helston !

I nearly Forgot !!!! It is HOFF FRIDAY !

Ok, I admit, David Hasslehoff is a bit of a hero of mine... I grew up watching him in KnightRider, Baywatch and the man is a legend... I admit he has bad hair, sings shocking songs to a bunch of grinning germans and hasn't done much lately. Saying that he is so uncool that he is cool in the same way that you always feel cool dressing up for 70's parties despite looking very uncool !

Anyway I have decided to dedicate every friday to the legend himself and as such will be posting a classic Hoff Image every Friday, make that every Hoff Friday !

I'm in a good mood again today, really frustrating when the whole point of this blog was for me to have a daily moan.... It must be having the desired effect !!

I just thought of something... I work as a Software Developer in a large investment bank in the City (which will remain unamed). Bearing in mind that in this Office environment everyone is assumed to be a professional, suits are the order of the day and the majority of the people here are degree educated, articulate and polite..... So why is it then that in all the cubicles in the mens toilet the walls are covered in bogeys ? What is it with rubbing bogeys on toilet walls ?? You expect it in dirty pub toilets or public toilets but not in the toilets of a respected investment bank full of well educated, professional people !!

What makes a grown man pick his nose and place it on the wall for all to see like he is some sort of proud game hunter mounting a lions head above his fireplace ? It baffles me and quite frankly makes me feel pretty sick being surrounded by the cast off's from other peoples nasal passages whilst dropping the kids off at the pool !

I just pity the poor cleaners ! Not only do they have the unpleasant job of cleaning the toilets they also have to clean the bogeys off the wall..

Sometimes I just despair !

Tesco's Staff, what a pleasure !

I hate Tesco's staff as a general rule, some are ok but mostly they are a bunch of ignorant, rude fools who should never be in customer facing jobs...
Firstly I have to say that I am no bigot but I have to say that surely a prerequisite for holding down a customer facing job in this country should be the ability to speak English ? Am I wrong ?
If I moved to Spain I wouldn't expect to be able to get a job in the local Bakers as there isn't much point in having a job if you can't understand a word your customers are saying !
That aside, they are also the rudest and most miserable people on the planet...
I buy my lunch in the Bishopsgate Tesco's in the City most days and this is how it normally goes.
You get no eye contact, a hello or even an acknowledgement when you arrive at the till, after scanning your goods you are normally greeted with an open hand, want to know how much it came to ? Well look on the screen because they ain't going to tell you ! Pay them and expecting a "thanks" or "have a nice day" ? Forget it, a grunt is the best you can hope for before the next customer pushes you out of the way.
I watch the Tesco adverts with great amusement ! Where are all those helpful smiling staff ?
More then 3 people in a queue, we'll open another till !! Yeah right, more then 3 people in a queue, you just have to wait longer !
Funniest thing is one of the members of staff is called "fab" and he is far from it !
I know Waitrose is more expensive but at least the girls serving don't have moustaches and still have the facial muscles required to smile !!
Me, I'm happy to pay extra, just wish they would open a store near where I work !

What's with the Sunglasses ?

Why, oh Why do people wear sunglasses when it isn't sunny ?
It never ceases to amaze me !
You never see people walking down the street with umbrella's up when it isn't raining so whats with the bloody glasses ?
I see people every day on the tube in London wearing sunglasses. What are these people trying to hide ?
Take it from me,

You DONT LOOK COOL YOU LOOK STUPID, stop it now !

R